codependency

Counseling

tulsa oklahoma

Codependency arises when

two individuals within a relationship perceive themselves as unable to thrive independently. They often hold the belief that their progress or accomplishments in life are contingent upon the presence of their partner. Frequently, one individual within the partnership dedicates considerable energy to assisting the other through a significant challenge, be it substance addiction, job loss, depression, and the like. This focus prevents them from addressing their personal concerns, which could encompass feelings of discontent, a dearth of satisfaction, or anxieties like a fear of being forsaken, among various others.

any of these situations familiar to you?

  • Feeling like your relationship matters more to you than your own self-worth

  • Being in a relationship where your partner is overly controlling

  • Struggling with a lack of trust

  • Feeling the pressure or desire to be flawless

  • Recognizing that you're the only one making an effort in the relationship

  • Linking your value to your partner's approval of your actions and emotions

  • Finding it challenging to be genuine or express your true feelings

  • Consistently worrying about how your partner feels

  • Coming from a background where there was substance abuse in the family

  • Experiencing guilt due to your partner's behavior

  • Feeling left out when your partner spends time with friends or family

  • Staying loyal even when your partner is detrimental to your well-being

  • Fearing rejection

The partner receiving the

support may go back and forth between feeling thankful and frustrated due to the pressure to change their behavior and heal. This cycle leads to both partners feeling dependent and trapped, making it hard to establish a healthy equilibrium.

In these relationships, the partners unintentionally reinforce this dependency as a response to their fear that if one person improves, the other might leave. Consequently, many of these relationships become controlling, obsessive, or even abusive.

Individuals who lean

towards codependency often grew up in families where one or both parents didn't promote independence and self-sufficiency. This can result in a parent hindering the child's autonomy and decision-making due to their own fear of becoming unnecessary.

It's important to strike a balance between seeking support and assistance based on genuine needs and personal growth, while also allowing room for independent thinking and initiative.

This balance is most frequently disrupted in families dealing with substance abuse problems, the loss of a parent, a codependent parent, a traumatic experience, or a significant move. It's vital for family members to realize that healthy relationships are built on a foundation that isn't solely rooted in dependency.

If you've discovered yourself caught

in a codependent relationship and are unsure of how to initiate change or break free from it, the therapists at Exhale are here to provide assistance.

We recognize that many aspects of your relationship may feel positive and wholesome, and our goal is to collaborate with you in determining the best path for your life. Your therapist will aid you in comprehending your relationship—what aspects are functioning well and promoting health, and what elements are not. Together, you will strive to achieve a balanced level of independence and work towards reclaiming your own self-esteem and sense of worth. Additionally, you'll gain insight into what constitutes a healthy relationship and how to lay down the foundation upon which such relationships are constructed.

You have the option

to attend sessions individually or together with your partner. While we can certainly work with you one-on-one, it's important that both partners are committed to transforming the relationship for it to progress positively. Additionally, you might need to recognize and address other relationships in your life that could be leaning towards codependency, such as a long-term relationship with a parent.

It's entirely possible to cultivate relationships that are enriching and meaningful, promoting both independence and personal growth, enhancing self-esteem. Your therapist is here to guide you in breaking free from the cycle of codependence and finding healthier ways to connect with others.